People pick countries the way they pick vacation spots — scenery, hype, or whatever social feed hits them first.

But living overseas isn’t the same as visiting.
A place that looks great for five days can feel heavy on day fifty.

Choosing well is less about “dream destinations” and more about whether you can function there.

Here’s a simple way to narrow that list without overthinking it.

Start with your wiring — not your wish list

Every country has a rhythm.
If yours clashes with it, even paradise feels like work.

Ask:

  • Do I thrive in movement or in quiet?
  • Do I like structure or spontaneity?
  • City pace or slower coastal mornings?
  • Do I recharge around people or away from them?

Shortlist places where your natural rhythm fits, not where you hope the environment will change you.

Infrastructure beats aesthetics

Scenery is nice.
Function keeps you sane when you’re living internationally.

Look for:

  • healthcare access
  • transit
  • grocery proximity
  • internet reliability
  • safe areas
  • walkability

These “boring” realities decide whether your long stay feels smooth or stressful.

Picture a Tuesday, not a postcard

If you can’t imagine a normal week overseas, you won’t enjoy living there.

Ask:

  • Where do I get coffee?
  • How do I get groceries?
  • What does an average day feel like?

This single exercise eliminates 90% of bad fits.

Understand the friction you can handle

Every country asks something of you.
Be honest about what drains you.

Heat, noise, bureaucracy, pace — none of these are moral judgments.
They just matter.

Pick the place where the challenges don’t hit your weak spots.

Match the destination to your “why”

Your reason for traveling should point you where to go — not travel influencers.

Examples:

  • Want quiet? Try Chiang Mai before Bangkok.
  • Want stimulation? Consider Lisbon before Bali.
  • Want a reset? Smaller hubs over capitals.

Destinations don’t fix people —
they hold space for who you want to be.

Use a simple yes/maybe filter

Two columns. Low effort. High payoff.

YES LIST:
Places that clearly fit your needs.

MAYBE LIST:
Places you like — but can’t justify yet.

When you hear yourself saying “maybe if…,” it belongs in the maybe list.

Pro Tips

  • Imagine a Tuesday, not a highlight reel
  • Start with your wiring
  • Prioritize infrastructure
  • Use a two-list filter
  • Match place to purpose